Dear John
Every year my husband makes me carry all the gear, pitch the tent and do all the cooking. I don't mind that but gathering and chopping the firewood is too much. And if I forget something he yells and screems something awful. What should I do?
Signed Overworked and under appreciated.
Dear Overworked
This year forget your husband. That scumbag does not deserve you! And come find me when you arrive.

Dear John
I never know what clothes to bring on the kegger. It might rain or snow, or I might go swimming all the time. Usually it's so hot. Any advice on what clothes to bring to ensure that I'll have a good time and be properly geared?
Signed Clueless.
Dear Clueless
Well you need good boots.. and a small sleek bathing suit for the hot days.. and I think thats it! And come find me when you arrive.

Dear John
I'm so glad for your advice column on the Kegger Backpack home page. I desperately need some guidance. My six teenage daughters are insisting that they be allowed to come on the Kegger Backpack this June. You gotta help me out. They are great kids, good grades, all are cheerleaders at their high school. hey are on the swimming and gymnastics teams at school. The oldest, Jasmine and Aron are twins and want to be physical therapists. Savanna is going into modeling, and I'm not sure about the other three. It just doesn't seem right taking teenage girls to the kegger backpack. What should I and their mother do? Could you help me keep them out of trouble?
Thanks
Lock em up Dad
Dear Dad,
I appreciate your ambivalence. Every up tight and over protective dad gets a little concerned when their beautiful and nubile daughters start to spread their wings, wanting to experience everything life has to offer. But my advice is simple, relax!!! What better place could there be for you to bring your fine family? Just think, the entire family, growing together around the campfire. Long, intellectual conversations with some of the most influential people in the world. Swimming at B.A.S. with their Uncle John. Hiking through some of the most beautiful scenery in the world! And all the while, they will be away from the corrupting influence of their peers, TV, and that heartless world we must deal with on a daily basis. Dad, this is a blessed opportunity for your family!!! And, just in case your worried about those mischievous little girls in the middle of the night, they can stay in my large family tent where they will be safe.
John

Dear John
Where were you last year! You said you would be there to take care of me and you never showed up! You dog! I was so nervous, I left early Sunday morning. After all those e-mails of encouragement you sent. I felt I knew you so well. All those sweet things you wrote to me. The hours we spent in chat rooms! I thought I knew you even though I had never seen you. I was just dying to meet you. After hours of chatting, we decided what I'd bring. We had planned out our meals and I brought all this food.

Dear Aron
Please please forgive me. I now realize I made a dreadful mistake. Last year I was on my way. After driving that morning from Wyoming where I was helping to rebuild an orphanage, I arrived up at the parking lot about 3:30am sunday morning. I immediately packed up and started hiking down to the island I don't know exactly what happened after that. I remember carrying the six packs of Guinness Dark, the gallon of Ripple wine, the J.B., the Vodka, and the blueberry snaps. I wanted to suprise you with these gifts. I was just as excited as you Aron. Well actually I had a little night cap fist, And then again on the way down to the Island. I was crazy to find you. I had only a 18 hour drive to get to you. It must have just done me in. The next think I know it was Sunday afternoon and I was wedged into a big crack of granite somewhere way off the path. I'm now thinking I was chased by a bear, fell and knocked myself out.
Aron honey, I'll be there this year for sure!
John